Navigating adolescence is a journey marked by exploration and independence. But with that can come risk. As teens seek new experiences and push boundaries, it’s inevitable that they’ll be faced with the choice to engage in risky behaviors. This is a very normal experience, and it’s not all bad. In fact, some risks can help kids grow and develop resilience and self-efficacy.

Marisa Taylor, LPC, child and family therapist in our Pediatric Mental Health Institute answers questions to help parents understand what drives young people toward risky behaviors and how to help them distinguish between harmful and healthy risks.

Q: What are we talking about when we talk about risky behaviors in kids?

For risky behaviors, I'm thinking of things that could actually harm you physically, emotionally or socially. These are things that can impact kids and families in a serious way. 

So, for example, that might be kids putting themselves in physical danger with a prank or dare — perhaps doing some kind of stunt or driving in an unsafe way. It could also be things like engaging in substance use or unsafe sexual activity.  

Q: When do we see kids and teens start engaging in risky behaviors and what drives that?

Mostly we're seeing this in the teenage years. It's pretty normal to be taking risks at that time. During the teen years, kids are seeking new things, acting independently and wanting to make choices for themselves. It’s a very natural part of development to disengage in some ways from our family's sphere of influence and put a lot more weight into peer relationships.

Physiologically, the frontal lobe is not fully developed yet in teens, and that’s the part of the brain adults use to slow down and consider consequences. So, teens are acting more on the pleasure, the joy and the excitement they’re getting instead of considering what could happen.

Q: What are some of the pressures that make kids more interested in risky behaviors?

The pressure mostly comes from their peers. When they engage in some of these behaviors, especially online, they are getting attention from their peers and they are getting admiration. It’s also a way to “prove” themselves, which can make teens feel confident.

Q: Are all risks that kids take bad?

No. There are the risks that are unsafe for our bodies and harmful emotionally and socially. And there are other risks — like trying something completely new, meeting new people, putting yourself out there in a way that you haven't done before — that are really healthy. These risks build self-esteem, help you problem solve and help you tolerate uncomfortable emotions.

This can also be an area for self-expression, connection and skill-building. So, there are positives, but there needs to be some kind of parameters.  

Q: How can parents teach kids the difference between a good risk and a bad risk, especially for things like hobbies that might be considered dangerous, such as motocross or skiing?  

I think pointing out that difference when you can, even if it’s through something you see in a movie or in a book. If your kid is taking a good risk, you might say, “We are trying something new, and this is a healthy thing to do.”  

I think we can also help kids weigh out the pros and cons of some of these activities that fall somewhere in between safe and risky. There are ways to create a safe environment, including wearing safety equipment, following the rules of the road or of the game. Or perhaps steer kids toward safe ways to engage in those riskier sports, such as taking a lesson or getting proper safety gear. 

Q: How can healthy risk-taking help kids build confidence? 

Healthy risk-taking can show us that we can bounce back from difficult things or work hard toward something to meet a goal. I think it's the confidence and resilience factor that we need as humans to grow and evolve and handle all the things that life throws at us.

Q: What might some healthy risks for kids be?

For example, I would say auditioning for a solo, trying out for a team, learning a new skill or talking to a new kid in school — situations that can be really anxiety-provoking or require putting yourself in a vulnerable setting. These moments put you in front of your peers, in front of your choir director or coaches for all to hear, with all eyes on you.

Q: What are some of the ways that risk taking can negatively impact kids, aside from potential physical risks?

There are interpersonal and physical problems that can develop through things like risky sexual activity, substance use and aggressive behavior towards one another. That can really set us up for feeling anger, sadness, isolation — and even lead to legal problems.

Q: What's the role of peers in this risk-taking behavior?  

Peers are huge influencers. It’s natural to gravitate toward our peers, their interests and to group activities. Teens want to fit in and want to please their peers. So, if peers are bringing in risky behaviors, let's say vaping, those negative habits can start forming. Maybe a whole group is meeting up socially in the bathroom and then to be included, your child begins creating that vaping habit because its a social activity and they don’t want to feel left out.  

Q: How has social media influenced what risks kids are taking? 

I think social media can magnify and exacerbate risk-taking behaviors. People on social media can make risky things look cool and exciting, and your child might see these videos getting a lot of likes, comments and attention. The promise of going viral for these types of behaviors is also enticing.  So, they might be watching people do something on their social media feed and become interested in that activity because it keeps popping up and that makes it feel normal and safe.

Q: How can parents and caregivers balance letting kids take risks and keeping them safe? 

For teens, we want to loosen the reins and let them make decisions for themselves. But to do that, parents and caregivers need to have conversations about family values and safe behaviors. You can start that early on in a child's life, so they are building on those values and having regular conversations about what is important for them.  

And adults need to be modeling these safe behaviors, too. They can point them out in a television show. “That's a safe behavior; that's a healthy choice. Oh, look there, that's a dangerous behavior. He could really get in trouble or really hurt himself.” Point it out in your everyday life so that we're thinking about the choices that we're making.