Suicide remains a critical public health concern for young people across the United States and in Colorado. Despite encouraging declines in Colorado youth suicide rates, it is still one of the leading causes of death for teens and young adults. While this crisis is a concerning reality for caregivers, many mental health experts emphasize that talking openly about difficult topics, including suicidal thoughts, can be a powerful outlet for children and teens. 

“When it comes to mental health or suicide, it can be a really scary topic, and sometimes that can stifle conversations,” says Sarah Brummett, Manager of the Preventing Suicide Initiative for Children’s Hospital Colorado’s Pediatric Mental Health Institute. “It’s important to talk openly with young people so they can come to you if they ever have an issue or want to talk about their feelings.”

Why talking about suicide matters

At first, talking about suicide can be complex and difficult for individuals of any age. That said, avoiding conversations about mental health struggles can send kids the message that they should hide or handle their emotions alone, or even worse — send a message that there’s nothing that can be done to support them.

“Not having discussions can lead children or teens to think that they’re the only ones who feel sad or depressed, or that there’s something wrong with them,” Brummett says.

Brummett also explains that talking about suicide does not create suicidal thoughts in a child’s mind. Instead, it gives them a safe place to share their emotions and experiences. Brummett encourages caregivers to normalize emotions through everyday conversations with their teens and young children. This doesn't require constant check-ins — it’s just creating an open, comfortable space where feelings are welcome.

“It can be as simple as recognizing your own emotions in front of your kids and letting them know what you’re doing to feel better,” she says. “It’s an opportunity to be vulnerable and show kids ways that they can cope with emotions.”

When should parents start talking about mental health?

“We have mental health from the day we’re born,” Brummett says. “It’s important to normalize feelings and emotions from a very early age.”

Brummett explains that talking to kids or teens about mental health doesn’t always have to be about crisis prevention — you don’t have to involve suicide in every conversation about emotions. For younger children, you can frame mental health similarly to physical health: “I want you to tell me when your tummy hurts, but I also want you to tell me when you are sad or having a bad day.”

Starting these conversations early on makes it easier for kids to seek help if and when struggles arise. But even if conversations haven’t been typical with your children before, it’s never too late to start opening up. Whether your child is showing warning signs of depressive thoughts or simply growing more distant, open communication with a trusted adult is a protective factor.

Warning signs of depression or suicide

Some warning signs of depression or suicide overlap with average teenage behavior, so they can be easy to miss. Still, caregivers should pay attention to children or teens who are:

• Sleeping more or less than usual
• Withdrawing from friends or activities
• Having sudden mood swings
• Expressing constant anxiety
• Talking about loneliness or isolation

Any expression of wanting to die or self-harm should be taken seriously. If caregivers are unsure of the next step to take, it’s always a great option to call, text or chat 988 — the national Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — to problem-solve with a trained professional.

Immediate, emergency care is needed if a child:

• Has recently attempted suicide
• Is actively attempting suicide
• Has expressed current suicidal thoughts
• Expresses a concern to keep themselves safe if left alone

If a child or teen mentions suicidal thoughts or feelings of depression, it is most important to listen without judgment and validate their experience. “Sometimes, adults jump to solutions, which can minimize pain,” Brummett says. “But it’s best to start by listening and creating an open space for kids to express concerns.”

When children or teens express these thoughts, let them know you are there to support them and that they aren’t alone. That said, it’s always good to have some resources ready and to seek professional help when needed.

Peer dynamics and social media

Caregivers should also be ready to help kids with concerns they are having with friendships, whether that’s navigating conflict or encouraging them to check on their friends who may be struggling. Most importantly, caregivers should make sure kids know how to reach out to a trusted adult with any concerns about themselves or their friends.

“For young people, peer relationships are so important,” Brummett says. “It’s good for caregivers to let their children or teens know that they can be a sounding board for whatever a friend group is navigating.” Young people are going to have conversations about events and things they see in the media, and it’s important that trusted adults check in with the young people in their lives.

Social media creates another layer of complicated boundaries within friendships, so it can be helpful for parents and caregivers to open the door for kids to talk about their relationship struggles both on and offline. What’s more, sometimes what kids see online can negatively impact their mental well-being.

“It’s not that social media is 100% good or bad, but it’s definitely getting more nuanced,” Brummett says. “It’s important that young people know to tell a trusted adult if they see something concerning or something that triggers their emotions.”

Brummett also says that it’s important to proactively set up family norms around social media and technology usage, along with consumption of other types of media and current news.

Although it’s OK for kids to know about the world around them, constant exposure to news could lead to stress and anxiety. It’s good to normalize stepping away from social media and your phones and model that behavior for your children.

Identity and mental health

Mental health experiences vary across cultures, neurotypes and identities. Providing culturally responsive and affirming support helps kids feel safe coming forward with emotions and experiences.

For example, in some cultures, mental health struggles may be stigmatized. Additionally, some cultures face additional mental health struggles as a result of racism or harmful stereotypes. Caregivers can:

• Invite open-minded conversations
• Ask more questions about feelings
• Acknowledge cultural or generational differences
• Normalize seeking help or therapy
• Recognize that other families face similar issues

Caregivers of neurodivergent children may consider some additional factors. Children with autism, ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder or other mental health conditions can experience added struggles or find it difficult to describe their internal emotions. With these kids, it can be important to create consistent emotional check-ins and reassure them that they have a space to talk. Warning signs may show as:

• Escalated meltdowns or shutdowns
• Increases in repetitive behaviors
• Sudden withdrawal from activities, hobbies or interests

LGBTQ+ youth face a higher suicide risk due to social factors such as bullying, identity-related stress and possible rejection from peers or family members. Caregivers and trusted adults can help by:

• Affirming your child’s identity
• Creating safe, nonjudgmental spaces
• Connecting kids with supportive communities

Protective factors for preventing suicide

Beyond identifying warning signs and getting help when needed, families can help strengthen their child’s emotional well-being through protective factors. Some of these factors include helping kids identify trusted adults in their life and encouraging positive peer relationships. It’s also important to help your child learn emotional literacy and identify coping skills that work for them. Emotional literacy is the ability to recognize, understand and talk about your feelings and emotions. It’s important because it helps children handle tough situations, communicate better and build healthier, stronger relationships.

“We all need breathers,” Brummett says. “Giving ourselves tools to fall back on is so important.”

Every child responds differently, but some coping skills may include:

• Breathing exercises
• Mindfulness exercises
• Taking a walk
• Distraction activities

Some helpful distraction activities for younger children may include:

• Listening to music
• Reading a book
• Blowing bubbles
• Modeling clay
• Rubbing textured cloths: rub a material that feels soothing
• Superpower hands: Have your child make fists and think about something frustrating that’s bothering them. Then, have your child relax their hands and imagine those feelings getting sent away.
• Special one-on-one time: Spend some time every day with your child uninterrupted from electronic devices. You can read together, cook or play a game.

Some helpful distraction activities for older children and teenagers may include:

• Listening to music
• Reading a book
• Deep breathing
• Positive self-talk and affirmations: “I am strong,” “I am intelligent”
• Participating in physical activities like riding a bike or sports
• Spending time outdoors
• Spending time with trusted adults or friends
• Special one-on-one time: Spend some time every day with your child uninterrupted from electronic devices. You can read together, cook or play a game.

If you need help now

If you or your child is in a crisis, you can contact:

• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call, text or chat)
• Local crisis centers or walk-in mental health services
• Your child’s doctor, therapist or school counselor

If the crisis involves a medical emergency or injury, it is always best to bring your child directly to the emergency room. Help is available for you and your child.